Darkness.

The darkness surrounds me.

Fear consuming every thought.

Anger pulsating through every cell.

Hatred burning into my soul.

Greed filling up my mind.

 

Do I resist the darkness?

Do I suppress these dark emotions?

 

No.

I will accept the darkness.

I will honor the greed, anger, hatred, and fear inside me as part of who I am.

But I vow to shine light into the darkness of my soul.

 

The light of love.

The light of kindness.

The light of compassion.

The light of forgiveness.

 

I will show the darkness another way.

 

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Abandon Ship!

Unexpected storms.

Unbearable winds.

Unavoidable destruction.

 

Your ship is broken.

Years of neglect.

Storms breaking it piece by piece.

Abandon your ship.

Let go and go into the great unknown.

Dive deep into the darkness of the sea.

 

The water is coldest at the bottom.

Unbearable pressure.

Suffocating pain.

Keep going.

 

As the storm passes, you will see a light.

Follow it.

 

Do not get accustomed to the darkness.

Do not wish for your old ship to rise from the depths.

 

Through the pain, we can grow.

Through the suffering, we can heal.

 

As you reach the surface you smile.

New life has been given.

Gratitude shining from the sun.

 

 

As you wash ashore.

You’re full of joy.

Curious about this new island.

Excited about new adventures.

 

New beginnings have been given.

New experiences to enjoy.

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Welcome To Heartbreak.

I cried.

I begged.

I promised I would change.

I poured my heart out.

I suffered alone.

 

How could you not want me back?

Why can’t you forgive me?

How could you be so cold?

How could you be so heartless?

 

Welcome to heartbreak.

The heartbreak of rejection.

The sadness of regret.

The pain of looking in the mirror.

Self-hatred.

Anxious days.

Depressed nights.

 

Through the pain, I learned how to be the lotus flower.

For the lotus flower grows in muddy waters.

 

Through suffering comes joy.

Through suffering comes peace.

Through suffering comes transformation.

No mud, no lotus.

 

My heart is now filled with gratitude.

Thank you for letting me suffer and grow.

Thank you for letting me go three years ago.

Thank you, Alicia.

Hope all is well.

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

Backstory: 3 years ago in Feb 2015 my life changed forever. I finally told my fiance that I cheated on her. She left me that day. I felt heartbroken, fearful, and anxious. I had to sit with myself. Sit with the anxiety, pain, and loneliness. Sit with the self-hatred. Through that suffering I found a new way of life. A one of meditation, mindfulness, and joy. 

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(Main photo: Kanye West, 808’s & Heartbreaks)